Barely Over The Border

There is a reason why we stop just before the border before crossing and again nearly as soon afterward as is practical. BECAUSE! No matter how many times you have done it, no matter how well prepared you are, no matter how happy you are to be visiting someone else's country - things don't always go as planned. One word taken the wrong way when you pull up to the customs booth. One border agent whose significant other said no the night before. I don't know what else. But after countless easy crossings, today went just plain bad!

If I knew the answer to why it did I would surely tell you. Maybe Canadian agents don't like full time RVers. When I told him we lived in our coach, his immediate and stern response was,
"You really don't want to enter Canada today, do you? Now try again, where do you live?"
"My legal address is Florida. Better?"
Pull over and wait.
An hour and a half later we pulled into the security bay and did the vehicle version of a strip search. Oh, I feel so violated. "Must you put the latex gloves on, officer?"

We didn't think we had anything to hide. Still don't. But we got the old "Where are your firearms?" question about 4 times.
"I don't have any. No firearms. No beef. No oranges! Nothing."
"What about at home?"
"This IS home...I promise you: I will not stay any longer than necessary in your fine country and for sure I will not set up any illegal residency here. When it gets cold again, I'm gone, I'm outta here; I'm old! I further swear not to use my machete on any of your wildlife...or to chop down cherry tress wheresoever they may be protected from such action.

"What about alcohol?"
"Sure, we have this and this and that...."
"I don't need to know what you have. How many liters?"
"Sir, I am an American and I don't think well in liters"
"OK Exactly how many bottles do you have?"
"I don't exactly know."
"I need a number."
"How does three sound? That's sounds good to me."

After the inspection it was pointed out that I had MORE than three bottles. Yes and No. I had three bottles if we merge the contents, but my wife likes to divide everything into "back stock" and kitchen accessible, so what seems like six bottles to you may be only three container fulls to me.

Now about Marilyn's passport. The renewal was done at the American Embassy in Tegucigalpa when we lived in Roatan, Honduras. We were there and it was time. But American Embassies all over the world are given the "old style" passports to use up. So every time officials see an old style passport, well, it can make issues if they don't take the time to see where it was issued. The passport is perfectly good. They just don't see one every day.

Maybe it was the EPA and Canadian Customs approved "Bear Repellent" we declared. Was it really an AK-47 in a bottle?

Eventually the ordeal ended and we were ready to roll on out of the bay. "I write a travel blog, officer. Do you think I could get a picture of my big rig in your big search bay?"

"I think not."

Lesson to be learned. This can happen to anyone, any time. You never know. Make camp close to each side of the border. Just in case!

Once through customs at this crossing, watch for the big bull elk in the fields on the right side of the road, several miles out of the gate. We have seen him the last two times through this way, and you may get lucky as well. And take note: windsocks may be indicating a small airport, but more likely they are used for you to see when you are about to get super-blasted by cross winds, which occur regularly here on bridges, open stretches and when coming out from sheltered highway. Both Canada and Alaska are far better then the lower 48 about marking driving conditions and potential hazards. So also watch for orange diamond shaped signs that look like they have a graphic of "mountains" on them. That is a "bump in the road" warning and they are most helpful. They mark even the most mild of situations so slow and steady should win the race. As we get further north, we have similar markings for frost heaves. Some tourists tell horror stories about the roads here.My guess is they weren't paying attention in the first place.

A final word about our border inspection. The inspection officer seemed rather stern to us as he began the search, while we waited in limbo outside the door of the coach. He emerged some time later in a seemingly happier frame of mind then when he entered, so now we are left to wonder: What did he see on his merry search? And did he find Marilyn's happy drawer????

So. From Fort Macleod RV Park, just barely beyond the border, thee ah thee thee ah, that's all folks!